Change Is Gonna Come

Ok... So, I came to an idea recently - I need to clean my life out of all negativity. No more dark-&-twisty-feeling old me. Time has come to turn new leaf, and open a new chapter in my life. First of all I need to sort out all stuff, and figure out what things were pulling me down and just stay away from them. It`s more easy said than done, but it`s a start. It`s time to renew and reinvent myself!

What that change consists of? Well... First of all I need to set some kind of order in all this chaos of my life. Do more things that makes me - me! It`s kinda tiring behaving by rules set by others. I need my own rules. Stop being ashamed of myself. That`s who I am, and that`s it. I like many things others don`t, and it`s ok. That is what makes me unique, and stand out of the crowd. Not many people can say that. 

So... back to the plan. I need to spend more time with people I like. I need to find that time, and make it counts. It`s been enough standing aside, watching the days passing by. So far it feels like my life has been one incredibly long rainy day. It`s time for the sky to clears, and let the sunshine in! (cliche I know, but still...)   The fact is that I really like rainy days, but the best rains are ones with the sun rays coming through the rainy sky that feels magical, musical like... You know, when you just want to burst into a song without any good reason. It sounds like a Disney movie, but hey! 

I need to improve my writing skills. Always wanted to write a novel, but never had time... There is it again - time... The lack of it is really irritating, but I guess if you want you can find a way to use it to make incredible things even if it`s only few minutes now and than. 

The plan for this summer is to get away somewhere. Destination unknown. I just need a brake from all this reality happening all around me. Just get on the bus leading into an adventure. I think that is what I miss most - the adventure, the great unknown... It would be really cool if I could pull out to go to one of those summer festivals where Nightwish will play this summer. That`s a long stretch, but worth a shot. With or without company, I should go. 

And in the mean time... Well there`s this girl... But more about it some other time... 

Move In The Right Direction

There comes the time in each of our lives when you stop for a second from trying to keep up with the world, when you look back to see how far have you gone, and most importantly - are you moving in the right direction... So... Are you moving in the right direction?

If you could stop the time for a few seconds, and rewind the time... let`s say five years ago... are you in the place you wanted to be five years back? 

I never make plans. I think that people who make plans are destined to fail, cause plans never turn out the way they`re supposed to. Those people are the people who want to fail. I never did the planning thing. I suck at planning... well, maybe not that much at planning as much as sticking to the plan. Plans are like straight lines that take you from place A to place B. I`ve been pretty much keep running in circles my whole life ending up on places G, F or W on the way from A to B. What`s up with that? Is it just me or there are more people like this out there?

I lived with myself whole my life... (well there was few times when I haven`t been speaking to me for like a week or so, but that`s not the theme this time ;) ) and the fact is that I know much better other people, even random people just walking through my life than I know myself. 

So, the real question is WHO AM I???

There are so many things that defines a person - you know like family, friends, what kind of music are you into ( for the great part of my life I thought I could never get along with a person who listens to any kind of metal music, cause you know, they`re all like "weird", but the fact is those are some of the best people I ever met. So, yeah, you could say I`m judgmental, but I also admit when I`m wrong...)... 

And by the way I have written this post you can say that I`m really random, and all over the place person (see what I meant by running in circles?).

So here`s the plan: since I`m really annoyed by the way my life is going on right now, I`m gonna try... No, I`m gonna cut out of it all the things I don`t like, and try some new stuff, and along the way define who I really am, and where am I going. Running in circles is fun, but it`s really monotonous after some time.