Erase/Rewind

Many of us would be really glad if we could just go back in time and erase bad things that have happened, or just change things we have said or done. Only that can never happen. And we shouldn`t be able to do that. Why? Well, the answer is more than simple - If we haven`t done those things in past, we wouldn`t have become who we are today. Good things, or bad things, they all influenced who we are today. And all those mistakes we have made... well we made them so we could learn from them, and grow. History repeat itself, that`s what we`re told, but it doesn`t have to if we`re careful enough, and willing to learn from mistakes we have made.

Quietly...

There comes a time when all you need is silence. When speaking causes so much effort that it seems unbearable to speak, and you hate every sound that comes out of your mouth. And somehow, everyone needs to know why you don`t feel like talking, or laughing, or just wants to know what`s up. How do you explain that there`s nothing wrong and that you just want to be left alone, surrendering yourself to your thoughts, fallowing them wherever they may lead you? I guess you don`t... Cause they wouldn`t understand... No one ever does...

Ocean Soul

Feeling of loneliness... It sucks! It really sucks! Feeling that no one really cares about you, even you thought they do, even they are supposed to... That really sucks! Big time!

No matter how hard I`ve tried not to think that everyone`s the same - they kinda are... Everybody cares about themselves. They come first - then everybody else, if there`s space for them of course. People are selfish and self-absorbed. That`s the truth. 

And when we`re on the topic of truth - Have anybody noticed that "truth" is really flexible? For each and everyone "truth" is what they want it to be. And when you tell them how things really are, all they can do is scream something in their defense and end the topic. Just like that. "It`s over. We have nothing further to discuss." Come on, seriously? Is that all anybody can ever say? I guess that`s it. Cause I never found anyone so far willing to finish discussion they started.

Everyone is searching for someone to blame. They are never the ones to blame. They all play victims... Yeah, right!

Don`t get me wrong... I can be like this sometimes, but I`m not afraid to admit that I`ve been wrong. And I`ve been wrong many times. I might be even wrong right now... 

But so far, this is my choice. And, if all of this isn`t right I "choose" to be wrong, same way I will "choose" to say that I`m wrong. And I`m not scared, or ashamed to admit that I`m wrong.

And after all, we all choose to become who we really are. Maybe that`s their choice? I just need to learn to accept things as they are, and if things are really like this... than this isn`t the society I want to belong to...

OceanSoul - Nightwish/by TheIslander

Losing emotion
Finding devotion
Should I dress in white and search the sea
As I always wished to be - one with the waves
Ocean Soul

Sleeping Sun

There`s something about fall that speaks about life more than any other season of the year. Maybe it`s the shortening of the days, less sunny and more rainy days. Maybe it`s the gray sky and trees that look like they`re caught on fire...Fall is time of contrasts, time where nothing is the way it was, when everything changes.

A lot of people think about fall as ending season. But not me. I guess it`s because I`ve always been a bit Dark & Twisty, or weird in most ways (but good weird, not bad weird). Fall is simple the season of transition. Transition from light into the darkness, from technicolor into monochromatic, slowing down for a bit, until everything stops for one single moment just to start all over again. 

There`s time to stop, take a breath and see where you want to go next, what you want to change, who you really wanna be. Close all doors where you don`t want to go back, and see what lies ahead. While everything else falls into hibernation you get a chance for a fresh start. To set a goal and go for it. 

I`ve never been that good in fallowing one path to the end and see where it leads. I always find some smaller path that goes along the main road and decide in one moment that I want to see where that path takes. Most of the time that side path leads nowhere, but it`s not about the destination sometimes, it`s about road taken. And sometimes missed chance opens the new side path worth exploring and discovering something that others missed. 

And that is all about. Small things, that doesn`t matter to anyone else, but means whole world to you. Things you value more than anything else. Things worth living and fighting for. Things that makes you unique, someone`s stranger, someone`s best friend. Nothing is out of reach, it only takes longer walk to get to it. 

Like I said... Fall is time of waiting... Time of time... Time for thoughts... Before we notice winter will come bringing some new challenges with it, and silence of cold white nights. 

So, for me, fall is just another:

"...a moment for the poets play

until there`s nothing left to say..."

Take the Lead

There`s constantly a lot going on on my mind.

Seems like there`s a highway of thoughts, rushing through my head at the speed of light. I fail to catch a lot of them, and rest just seem to be pushed back until they fade away. There`s a lot of things I remember, lot of good as well as bad things I`m more than willing to forget... All those things made me who I am today.

I`m willing to share those things with you. So I`m gonna take the lead, take the first step into the thing for me unknown. Many people do this kind of things to became famous. I don`t. I do it cause I have something that I think is worth saying. There`s lot of "I" here. Get used to it. This is MY life, and it`s gonna stay that way.